Been very very very busy for the past week. Internship started. Was okay so far. Reading chim stuff. Supervisors have been understanding of my situation, so I hope not to disappoint them too.

After hours have to rush to the hospice for mum. Can't go there early to feed her liaoz, so I let the nurses do it. She's now reduced to eating liquid food (food that has been grind till liquid).

Her legs also keep jerking just now, bcos of the morphine, keeping her awake . When she's finally asleep, i kinda feel a huge relief.

She can't even sit up straight now. Need to constantly lean back. But with that comes with more butt sores. She also need help turning from aide to aide.

I guess the hca workshop did help and I was able to apply what I learnt. Well tried. It got really tiring, and in the end,i still have to call the nurses.

Her talking has also become mostly incomprehensible, muttering to herself. Its only sometimes when she said a proper sentence of words, that it's like a huge achievement to me.

Tried bringing my own work there to do. So I can stay later. But keep getting distracted. Haiz

Feel the strain sometimes. Rush here and there. I find myself more withdrawn from anything. Close friends who know of my situation have been very encouraging. But i feel guilty havin to use my mum as the reason each time i reject going somewhere, doing something.
Esp at yrs, there's alot of stuff to settle and it seems like everyone is doing something and I am just following.
And the latest outings. Tot maybe 1 night can go and destress awhile. But seeing how weak she is already, I think i better try to spend time with her.

Hopefully I can continue to juggle my mum, my internship and YRS, and anything else. And my dad. Haven been talking to him much. He's tired. And I am tired too.

The same nurse (I found out her name is nurse Lee) gave me brownies and cupcakes the night before. too touched. While all the other nurses were good too, this one is particularly friendly.

Mum have been seeing quite a few visitors for the past week. 2nd uncle, and wife, and son, and yishun auntie. The son is a doctor, and is particularly helpful in providing some tips for her care, and even helping to feed her. Same goes for the yishun auntie.

Today mum was allowed to come home on home leave. I think she was feeling particularly happy about that and ate quite alot during lunch. (half a bowl of porridge).

Taxi-ed home. and she vomited just as we were reaching. Thanks to the taxi uncle/young man who provided plastic bag and tissue! and waited patiently for us.

And she vomited again just now. okay no more food for her till dinner.

This blog has sort of turned into a diary about my mum. An outlet for me to document her struggles with cancer. Oh reminds me, I haven contact my other friend who is undergoing chemotherapy as well.

YRS resuming later! 

Woah the nurses here are particularly good! They take care of the caregivers too! When I requested a cup of Milo for my mum, the nurse insisted on makin me one too ... And returned with two cups.

My mum wanted to go back home this weekend! To stay one night. Hopefully the doc approve. She seems slightly better. Still have to talk to my dad too.

Final finals tmr! Back to YRS on fri! Doing the session this fri. Hope it be good.

Mum ate more usual at dinner and didn't vomit today! Taken off the vomit drip and now able to take the vomit pills orally (though that means she has 2 more pills to eat...)

And dad still cannot remove the stitches from his operation. Been to hospital 2 times already.

Kinda screwed up 2 finals on sat. Bad week ended badly.

She takes even less food today. A few mouthfuls of porridge and she doesn't want already, even though I can hear her stomach growling sometimes.

Milo seems to make her vomit. So she's allowed only abit each time.

Although she doesn't make a fuss now about going home (think she would not have the energy to do so), but she mentions it now and then. Dilemma dilemma... The nurses here are really great and providing great care though.